The cinnamon challenge is the new eating challenge making people look like fools across the globe.
For those of you who remember it, chubby bunny was a truly Olympian challenge fit for only the greatest of mouths. For those of a more mature vintage, be glad you avoided this most unflattering of competitions that was briefly rampant during the latter years of primary school.
However, the 20-second attention span that defines the modern world means that stuffing your face full of marshmallows is now somewhat passé. To fill this vacuum we needed a new endeavour to sate our craving for eating-based showdowns. The logical conclusion was, of course, eating spoonful’s of pure cinnamon.
A teaspoon of cinnamon seems like a relatively trivial amount of food, right? Wrong, oh so, so wrong. The cinnamon will suck every atom of moisture out of your mouth faster than you ask “is this real Sri Lankan cinnamon verum or actually the impostor, Chinese cassia?”
The answer is unlikely to matter, as you will be racked by coughing fits as the nebulous particles drift around the stony desiccation of your throat. To make the challenge worthwhile you may not consume any fluids until you’ve swallowed the fragrant tar now coating your mouth.
As with most ridiculous and potentially dangerous escapades, everybody is trying it. A quick YouTube search yields a mere 34,000 results. Past challengers include two professional basketball players and the governor of Illinois, the latter was victorious, the first two were wildly unsuccessful.
Other brave souls who have attempted the challenge include comedians at the behest of their fans and those looking to garner Internet fame through the age-old method of public humiliation. Almost all failed, usually somewhat spectacularly, and the videos end in a haze of coughed up cinnamon dust as they lie choking and spluttering on the floor.
Yet the greatest part of viewing this endless stream of embarrassment is that every one, without fail, seems surprised when the cinnamon takes hold of their respiratory tract and shakes it like maraca. Its as though they were blissfully unaware of the agony experienced by the rest of their 34,000 comrades.
The moral of the story? Saliva will always lose to spice. A valuable lesson indeed, though I don't think I would take it to the bank. I suggest you leave the cinnamon on your pancakes and wait and see what absurd eating challenge arises next.
By Harry Phillips
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